Relish the next few minutes because they will set you rolling with laughter irrespective of the mood you are in at this moment.
During the induction process at a very well known family owned company, many speakers from various departments present their "power points" and some are not very proficient in the English Language. I've maintained a diary which has some of these misnomers -
A 26 year old guy is presenting about how the company practices Safety in all its manufacturing operations.... So, here goes -
'It does not
does anything.'
"
Are there
stress in the workplace?"
'If we take decisions with
stresses, can this happen?'
'Let's talk about
fire. Whern it is
small, you can control it.'
Initial 2-3 minutes in any emergency
is very important'
'It does not leaves you with your responsibilities' What the presenter meant was that you cannot shy away from your responsibilities.
"A road is
dugged up."
"
Am I answering right?" What he meant was,
"Did I answer your qusetion?"
Sign off statement - I wish you all the luck and (pause pause pause)
safety things at Godrej.
Here are some one liners speech by the CEO of XYZ Infotech-
'It depends on how
dynamically they want to push the business forward.'
'Not many people use it but.... there are some who use it.
'Information is available evey morning as yesterday evening.' What he meant was - "Information is updated every morning (on the server) and you can access the information of the previous evening)
'I
am sure you are going to benefit this.'
My Personal Favourite - We have to
delearn the people and then make them learn again. This comes from the VP HR
These men may send a chill down the spine of many a writer of 'The Economist', but they bloody well know how to do their jobs!!!
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